There’s a fun parlor game played by Gen Xers when they come across fellow Economy-Plus travelers
(ed. Here I’m not specifically picking on the Reality Bites cohort. Though I should note my application for honorary membership has been pending since I first read Steven Soderbergh’s media diet journal. And not for nothing I still find hilarious the bit in White Noise about a liberal arts college having a prestigious Department of Hitler Studies)
Every generation plays it once they renew their driver’s license (shout out Real ID!).
The rules are simple:
One person points out a beloved cultural ritual that the yutes no longer appreciate. And then the second player goes “yah totally.”
That’s it.
Sometimes extra points go to whoever first grabs their oat milk double frapp and goes about their life.
The lost ritual can be anything: reading books, going to movies, having sex, racism, whatever.
The conceit is that we don’t recognize the new rituals that take their place because they’re invisible to us (nothing to do with declining eyesight, according to my new driver’s license).
But one example earns it’s nostalgic overdetermination in this game: CDs. Hear me out...
We would frustratingly try to unseal the plastic shrinkwrap from say the new Radiohead release (or insert here whatever a breathless fandom of sadboi, pretentious loners were obsessed with).
That was our penance. Our 15 Hail Mary’s for whatever impure thoughts we entertained about Sarah N. in 3rd period Algebra.
Then onto the extended disc tray— the outstretched tongue of this 40-watt ecumenical spirit guide — we’d reverentially place a plastic wafer, excuse me, album.
It’s not that we actually believed the CD itself had holy powers. And yet through an inexplicable technological process it transubstantiates into divine revelation or momentary adolescent salvation. At minimum a rockin’ guitar solo.
Yes, I just compared listening to The Pixies to communion. Don’t worry, believing in Hell is some boomer shit. We lived through Woodstock ‘99 my guy. But then came Bluetooth and Pokémon Go…
I recently played this card during a typical morning errand run. Correctly the other player responded “yah totally.”
Then I confirmed with the barista that my loyalty points would be reflected in the app and went about my day.